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Well
It seems I haven't posted on this motherfucker in quite some time. To catch you up, I'm not going to school this semester, I'm way too fucking broke. I have somewhere around $4000 of debt I have to pay off myself including, but not limited to: my car, credit card, and legal counsel.
I'm not incredibly happy with being stuck here even longer, but at least I'm used to it. Man, it's a real fucking shame that it's only money that's getting in my way.Current Music: Black Sabbath - War Pigs |
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The other night I was driving home and a deer ran out ahead of me, so I decided to slow down in case there was another. And there was - this tiny newborn fawn, the size of a medium dog - lumbered across the road. If I hadn't slowed down, I would have clobbered it. It was good luck,
a good omen that I didn't kill that deer.
I went to Roanoke today and locked my keys in the car. I had to call a goddamn locksmith to open the door. I accidentally left my wallet in Darris's car last night, so I didn't have my wallet all day today, but I was going to write the locksmith a check anyways. He asked to see my driver's license for whatever and I told him I didn't have my wallet. He freaked out, wrote down my license plate numbers, my VIN number, the numbers inside my car door and told me he expected this sort of thing from "a shit-eating nigger, but not a white kid" and told me he would have to get the police involved. I was about to shit my britches. He got all my information from me and asked me how I was going to get the money to him and I told him again that I had my checkbook. He said "Oh, I thought you didn't have a way to pay." So it was all a heinous misunderstanding. And it was only $30.
So, I didn't get the shit kicked out of me by a giant ass locksmith repo-man, nor did I have to talk to the police. I suppose I can thank the deer for that. |
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sonofagoddamnbitch
all I needed was one motherfucking book source, one single quote from a hard copy of a book that has SOMETHING to do with orwell's 1984 and my comparing "newspeak" to political correctness. or any general quote malleable enough for me to fit into this essay as a backing fact for my thesis. of course, after searching i've found no book that has anything close to that. I couldn't even find a book with critical essays on the damn novel. if anyone happens to have a book with something that i might be able to use, could you please scan it and email it to me??
on another note, that five hour energy shit makes me want to take a five hour nap. just so you know, stick to stackers or some kind of illicit stimulant if you want to accomplish anything. that is all. |
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Uh oh
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Apr. 29th, 2007 @ 09:32 pm
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So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I'm going to be doing next year. And I think I've come to a conclusion: I'm going to take a year off live somewhere away from here and work. Preferably Abingdon. Maybe Asheville, Winchester - some place not too far from it all.
I'm afraid of how this semester is going to end. I've not done what I should have done to get good marks this term. It's actually terrifying. How can I justify another failure to my family? I just want to be out of here and get some footing without classes to fuck up in the meantime.
What do I do?Current Music: Doves - Here it Comes |
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Surely the whispering of the long-since dead leaves
And the reddening of the capillary web in your nose
And the dog’s barking muffled by the freight trains
As they pass over frozen seas of steel and empty thrones
The grievous and the dark-hearted and the morose
And the finicky and the anxious and the comatose
The golden ones the chosen ones and the old ones
Likewise the strange and the queer and the ghosts
Lord their awkward winnings over all mankind
Until they collapse under the weight of their own doing
And when the northern breeze stirs the cool grey air
And the needles from the pines are caught in your long grey hair
We’ll all tip our hat and reassure you –
The path you have taken was the heaviest
Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 10:09 pm
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It's a hassle going to sleep only to dream about things I've fucked up
In other news, I'm retarded. I was driving down the road trying to get the car cigarette lighter to work and I kept pushing it in and it kept popping out as soon as I did... So I touched the coil to see if it was working at all and it melted my fucking thumb. It turned it brown instantly. I nearly wrecked. IT HURTS SO MUCH!! JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST.
Yep, that's it. I'm intoxicatingly interesting.
Mar. 29th, 2007 @ 04:45 pm
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Just bought a Bonnaroo 2007 ticket. hoo oh yeah, I have some credit card debt to take care of now, but I suggest if you're going, you buy the tickets now because they'll be sold out soon. they're already on the third tier of pricing.
but it's all fucking worth it
Mar. 19th, 2007 @ 12:47 am
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GOD I LOVE SPRING. Saturday was the typical rainy March day that just makes me feel good to be alive. Mild day with a warm rain - how can you beat that (unless you throw some thunder in)?
Today I drove home with the windows down and the music all the way up, I love that. I realllly needed it too.
Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 04:18 pm
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I hate school so much. It's hard for me to do well with something I really couldn't give a half-shit for. I'd really rather just be a train bum riding from city to city jacked up on cocaine and giving myself spongebaths in public water fountains. Really, after so long of not being able to cut it in the college scene, I'm not sure I'm meant to be here or not.
It's also that I'm just not content to settle with the normal "go - to - college - get - a - job - die - comfortably - at - a - ripe - old - age - living - on - savings - accrued - from - forty - years - of - wasting - away - in - a - miserable - mundane - office - in - the - city - where - you've - been - backstabbed - shot - to - pieces - and - reduced - to - a - silhouette - of - the - free - thinking - dreamer - you - once - were"
life... I don't give a shit, I don't want that. I want something different.
I want... all or nothing. I don't want anything in between. I want to feel important. I want people to know my name and remember me when I've gone down the curtain to join the bleedin' choir invisible. I don't want this, it's a death-sentence, it really is.
Feel free to offer words of encouragement, I'm going to go masturbate and make another pot of coffee so I can finish this fucking speech. But Why?
Mar. 11th, 2007 @ 08:42 pm
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gnomenclature's journal